One Punch Reviews #47: Spy6teen
The James Bond movies have given the paying public a very glamorous portrayal of the spy life. When we think spies, we think about wearing awesome tuxedoes, driving half-a-million dollar cars, tossing off puns without people rolling their eyes… unless they’re rolling their eyes because of the .32 caliber bullet placed neatly between ’em.
“Do you mind if my friend sits this one out? She’s just dead.” A dud on the comedic circuit, but genius from the mouth of a superspy.
We never dwell told much about the more sordid side of espionage, though, and indignities that spies must suffer every day … like missing the prom, for example. Fortunately, we get such glimpses with Tim Simmons’ Spy6teen.
We open the story with Cally Calhoon trying to convince her class that she didn’t have a not bummer summer. Really, though, her alter-ego has been on globe-trotting adventures, fighting costumed villains, and dealing with Lovecraftian horrors. Under cover of being a mathlete (the perfect alibi; it’s such a boring club that it raises no suspicions), Cally is whisked away to a secret spy base that’s run by her uncle. Here, she’s outfitted with the latest in spy technology, such as a teleporter and hi-def sunglasses.
But despite living the life that Angeline Jolie wishes she could have, Cally is very unhappy. More than anything, she wants a normal life. She wants a boyfriend to hang out with and maybe join a club that she’s good at.
It’s kind of awkward, though, when it turns out nearly everyone in the school is either some superspy, supervillain, or supervillain lackey. I guess part of this is the fault of Cally’s uncle, who we’re told is hiding key information from her. But even Cally recognizes some faces that there are students with double lives in her school. So what is she whining about?
It makes her a bit of a spoiled brat … and one who’s got a victim complex. It’s kinda selfish to be wanting the undefined idea of a normal life when no one else seems to have it. Then again, maybe that’s the point. It’s, like, get over yourself, teenage superspy!
For a comic about a superspy, there’s very little action and a whole lot of moping. Most of the time, we see Cally wondering why she has not friends in high school, which, incidentally is ultra-generic. Want to guess what cliques make up Montauk High? I bet you get at least three out of five! It’s a little cliche … unless you consider the possibility that this whole high school is just an overtly artificial environment based on John Hughes films to cloak an installation meant to sustain a real world where everyone’s either a superspy or a supervillain!
We’re through the looking glass, people!
Rating: 3 stars (out of 5).