W3bcomics Are S3xy 3: Tokyo Drift
Welcome, boys and ghouls, to the Webcomic OverSPOOK! Get ready to witness scenes of vile, unspeakable horror and blood-curdling terror! Steel yourself for the latest edition of “Webcomics are scarrrrrrry!” It’s the season where the wind turns … uh … warm … and the sun … shines…. and the rains abate?
Wait a minute.
It’s still June? Then what’s this Jack-o-Lantern doing on my desk? … Wait. Upon closer inspection, it’s a ball of rubber bands.
Might as well do another “Webcomics Are Sexy” piece, then! Starting with one that packs a little … BITE.
Mu hu ha ha ha.
This piece and the links are TECHNICALLY Safe for Work. However, there are several images and links of bare female (and in one case, male) flesh, which I wouldn’t be too comfortable having on my screen if my boss were wandering about. So proceed with the utmost caution.
So what do webcomic creators find sexy these days?
This should be straight up fanservice, right? I mean, vampires are sexy, all dark and brooding and such. And so are cheerleaders, which gives the excuse to draw short skirts. Put those together and what do you get? V-A-M-P-C-H-E-E-R-L-E-A-D-E-R-S! Goooooo… team!
We follow around Heather, who gets chosen by the Vampire Cheerleaders as their new squad mate. As part of her initiation, she had to suck her parents dry, and I don’t mean financially. This is pretty creepy by the way. The vampire bite has always been associated with sex. It doesn’t help matters that Heather gets a glossy-eyed look of ecstasy after plunging her sharp, wet fangs into mom and dad.
From the fine folks at Keenspot comes Exposure. It’s a story about two paranormal detectives, Lisa and Shawna, who seem to have a difficult time with dressing properly for their line of work. I mean, who wears a miniskirt to a bloody crime scene? Seems unhygienic. This especially becomes more problematic when the girls undertake missions of a more supernatural kind. It turns out that the ghosts, zombies, and spirits they meet are all rapey perverts. These creatures tend to rip off their clothes, like, every second page or so. It’s actually something of a shocker when their clothes manage to stay on. Fortunately, small pieces of cloth manage to cling on to the key lady parts.
Because this comic isn’t slutty or anything.
This girls unrealistically share an apartment with a corpulent neckbeard and a nerd, which is not creepy wish fulfillment of any sort. In spirit of fairness, the neckbeard’s clothes fall off at some point in the comic, too… but that’s because he’s saving all the damsels in distress and he has some boss tattoos to show off. His pants also stay on, thankfully, a bold testament to the ruggedness of men’s wear.
You knew this was coming. You know that some day, someone would give zombies the same treatment as Stephenie Meyer gave vampires. It was inevitable. The think is … the sexy zombies in The Other Grey Meat do not look like zombies at all. They look like every other hot chick. We also get the vampire cop out where the good vampires only drink animal blood or synthetic blood … in the case of this comic, it’s a brain substitute called The Other Grey Meat.
I don’t know. It would be like if I created a hot chick who was a slime monster, and all she did was splash buckets of pond scum at people. I imagine that this is very disappointing for hardcore zombie fetishists.
Incidentally, these zombie girls are totally excited when your flagpole’s at full staff. Because, as it turns out, normally zombie men are not fully functional. I think there’s some sort of subplot about zombie viagra, too, which shows that there’s going to be an unhealthy obsession with erections in a post-zombie apocalypse world.
From The Draconia Chronicles, which also has sexy tiger girls. Why? Because.
And now, one for the ladies…
Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the USS Enterprise
It should be known that the artist, Jess Fink, does a somewhat famous pornographic comic where humans are pleasured by robots … which I won’t be linking here since this site is PG-13, but is discussed in detail at io9. Somewhere out there, there’s a very good chance that there’s sexier, X-rated Captain Picard drawn by Ms. Fink. Ladies, start your swooning.
Finally, we have a new winner in the Biggest Boobs in Webcomics sweepstakes, it’s….
Happy June-o-ween, everyone!